Got this in the inter-office mail today. I won't say who sent it to me, but she is the most common poster on my blog other than me. Funny stuff. Thanks anonymous sender, and you have a great Christmas too. Or, should I say (as Rachel's e-mail so eloquently put it):PLEASE ACCEPT WITH NO OBLIGATION, IMPLIED OR IMPLICIT, MY BEST WISHES FOR AN ENVIROMENTALLY CONCIOUS, SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE, LOW STRESS, NON-ADDICTIVE, GENDER NEUTRAL, CELEBRATION OF THE WINTER SOLSTICE HOLIDAY, PRACTICED WITHIN THE MOST ENJOYABLE TRADITIONS OF THE RELIGIOUS PERSUASION OF YOUR CHOICE, OR SECULAR PRACTICES OF YOUR CHOICE, WITH RESPECT FOR THE RELIGIOUS/SECULAR PERSUASIONS AND/OR TRADITIONS OF OTHERS, OR THEIR CHOICE NOT TO PRACTICE RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR TRADITIONS AT ALL…
…AND A FISCALLY SUCCESSFUL, PERSONALLY FULLFILLING, AND MEDICALLY UNCOMPLICATED RECOGNITION OF THE ONSET OF THE GENERALLY ACCEPTED CALENDER YEAR 2008, BUT NOT WITHOUT DUE RESPECT FOR THE CALENDERS OF CHOICE OF OTHER CULTURES, AND WITHOUT REGARD TO THE RACE, CREED, COLOR, AGE, PHYSICAL ABILITY, RELIGIOUS FAITH AND/OR LACK THEREOF, CHOICE OF COMPUTER PLATFORM, OR SEXUAL PREFERENCE OF THE WISHEE.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of these wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher).
…AND A FISCALLY SUCCESSFUL, PERSONALLY FULLFILLING, AND MEDICALLY UNCOMPLICATED RECOGNITION OF THE ONSET OF THE GENERALLY ACCEPTED CALENDER YEAR 2008, BUT NOT WITHOUT DUE RESPECT FOR THE CALENDERS OF CHOICE OF OTHER CULTURES, AND WITHOUT REGARD TO THE RACE, CREED, COLOR, AGE, PHYSICAL ABILITY, RELIGIOUS FAITH AND/OR LACK THEREOF, CHOICE OF COMPUTER PLATFORM, OR SEXUAL PREFERENCE OF THE WISHEE.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of these wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher).
1 comment:
Oh, I am so honored that you presented the card here. *blush*
And thanks to Rachel's lawyer for drafting that politically correct greeting.
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