Monday, May 27, 2013

Ghosts and swimming.

…or you could just download it, zoom in and see what a great job of Photoshopping someone did.

It’s called “hall swimming”.  I’ve seen students doing it up and down the halls after school a couple times this year.  The custodians are thinking about handing out Swiffer® t-shirts and making it a competition.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The garage is organized.

I finally cleaned out the garage enough to get two cars back into it.  The front of the stall my Jeep is in still needs a little organizing, but the rest of the garage is done.

Some of the things I found this time include: A whole bunch of pliers and 4 pipe wrenches,

A million and a half screwdrivers,

5 utility knives, and last month I spent an hour looking for just one, and it had a dull blade,

One of these.  Recognize it?  It’s back from when motor oil came in actual cans,

A whole bunch of unused film,

Some pain reliever that expired in 2001,

A telephone extension cord,

And an old cell phone,

My old Discman,

And an ad for the earlier version, a Walkman,

An ancient mixer, without blades,

An old can opener,

And a couple of pre-Photoshop cartoons that I altered for school,

And finally, a bunch of old negatives that I hadn’t scanned yet.  This is the Haunted Old Mill back in the late 70’s – early 80’s.

See how much it had changed by 2007?

Salt Lake City, back then.

And some pictures I took right after my old garage collapsed.

With the car it fell onto in front of it.  I was afraid that it would collapse, so I parked the car in front of it instead of inside.  My luck, the garage fell forward and the front of it ended up on the hood of the car.

It still ran, although the hood was a little dinged and scratched.  If you know a little Utah history, you may understand why I named this car Ervil.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

My life must be choreographed.

I was passing an accident on the way to school today, listening to one of those “trade in your old car for a new one” commercials.

Just as I pulled up next to it, as I looked over to see a car sitting on it’s roof, the line from the commercial said “even if you’re upside down in your current car.”

Irony at it’s best.  Fortunately, the vehicle didn’t look too banged up, so I’m going with the belief that no one got too hurt, I hope.

I didn’t stop to take a picture, because it was close to school and I didn’t want some parent thinking I’m a ghoul.  On the way home, though, I did get a picture and, as you can see, used my photoshopping skills to recreate the scene.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Very Funny.

The other day I told 4th period they were driving me crazy.

Without hesitation one of my students asked “Weren’t you already there?”

Monday, May 20, 2013

Please be sarcasm. Please.

A letter to the Editor today read “In order to get legitimate sources of unbiased and truthful media reporting, [Sandy] needs to quit reading, viewing and listening to the ultra-liberal lamestream media…

Ok, I can go with that.  A single source of news, ultra-anything, isn’t likely to give you the whole truth.  It was the second half of this paragraph long single sentence that made me laugh, cry and pray for it to be sarcasm.

…and start tuning in the legitimate sources of unbiased and truthful media reporting, for example, Fox News (hahahaha) in all it’s permutations, Rush Limbaugh (mwahahaha) and his acolytes and Matt Drudge  (don’t know him) and his acolytes.

Please be sarcasm, because if it’s serious, well, it’s pretty pathetic.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Self-righteous ass.

I read an article in the Tribune today (“Teachers: Our guns keep your kids safe”, front page) that got the opinions of two teachers that have Concealed Carry Permits (CCP) and carry guns to school.

Overall it was a good article, even changed my mind about HB389 that would have CCP teacher identify themselves to the administration and parents.  But one comment by Paul Smith (the pseudonym used in the article) made me angry.

In reference to teachers with a CCP, he said “We’re more trustworthy to teach their kids than easily anybody else, because we’ve got that constant check on our moral compass.

You arrogant SOB, why? 

Because you have a background check to get the permit and all the rest of the teachers don’t?  Oh, wait.  We do, every teacher gets fingerprinted and pays for their own background check before they are given a teaching license.

Because your CCP needs to be renewed every 5 years, and you have to go through another background check and we don’t?  Uh, nope.  I have to renew my teaching license every 5 years, and go through a background check each time.

Because the process of obtaining a CCP makes you more morally upstanding than the process of obtaining a teaching license?  Well, maybe.  I’ve never had to go through the process of getting a CCP, but from what I’ve heard it’s not too hard – a 4 hour class and background check.  As opposed to the 4 years of college and a background check it takes to get a teaching license.

Mr. Paul Smith, or whatever your real name is, your arguments for allowing CCP guns in classrooms would be a lot more palatable if you got off your (subjective) morally superior high horse.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Idle since 2001

In 2001 a friend and I planned on moving down to Las Vegas to teach there.  The pay was better, we’d heard they were desperate for teachers and we were sick and tired of the politics regarding teaching here in Utah.  Ironically, the politics and pay are not any better than they were, but we never even got invited down for interviews.  So we stayed.

Anyhow, I’ve been going through a bunch of the boxes I packed way back then, part of my garage-cleaning project.  I completely filled the recycle and the regular garbage can with stuff I saw no more use for.

I did find some interesting/funny stuff like the original deed to the first property I ever bought (with my little brother, a duplex in Glendale), the programs for my junior high and high school graduations) and my 1979 tax returns.

Some of the other things include:

A picture a student drew of me.

An aptitude test I took in 1986, that disproves the old adage “Those who can’t, Teach”.

My W-2 from the first job I ever had
(not including my paper route).

A Café Rude business card.

Calvin and Hobbes.

The key to the first car I ever owned.

My 8th grade report card. Right after that school year we moved here to Utah.  (I also found all my high school report cards, but those I’d rather not have seen).

My senior year school ID card.

My baby footprint.

A traffic warning I got where the cop identified my car as a Ford Metro.  It was a Chevy Metro, but I had removed the Chevy emblem and replaced it with a Ford emblem.

Grand Avenue comic.

For some reason I have a Holy Cross Hospital security patch.

An Olympic poem from one of my students.

From back in the BBS days, a classified ad where a TMC put all his friends up for sale (I’m S’car)

Uh, this one is hard to explain, you had to be there.  But it makes fun of Gayle Ruzicka and the Eagle Forum, so I had to add it.

And finally, the invitation to my wedding to “Lady in Black”.

Ok, maybe some of this isn’t that funny to everyone, but I got some good laughs while cleaning out the garage.  Made the chore a little more tolerable.