Over a decade ago a kid named Pete put it very succinctly during his last week in junior high:
“The one thing I learned in junior high is that Ranch dressing goes with everything.”
Of course he was only 14 and had just dumped the mother-load of dressing on his slice of pepperoni pizza.
We were out of Ranch dressing last week. By “we” I don’t mean the lunchroom at my school, I mean the entire school district. 65,000 students had to eat naked pizza.
Well, we survived, barely. Some even resorted to 1000 Island dressing for their salads and pizza, but you could tell it wasn’t the same.
It didn’t get “Lord of the Flies”-y until Friday, when the lunch ladies silently stocked the condiment bar with their recent shipment of Ranch.