Saturday, February 11, 2012

Ranch Dressing Embargo of 2012

Over a decade ago a kid named Pete put it very succinctly during his last week in junior high:

“The one thing I learned in junior high is that Ranch dressing goes with everything.”

Of course he was only 14 and had just dumped the mother-load of dressing on his slice of pepperoni pizza.

We were out of Ranch dressing last week.  By “we” I don’t mean the lunchroom at my school, I mean the entire school district.  65,000 students had to eat naked pizza.

Well, we survived, barely.  Some even resorted to 1000 Island dressing for their salads and pizza, but you could tell it wasn’t the same.

It didn’t get “Lord of the Flies”-y until Friday, when the lunch ladies silently stocked the condiment bar with their recent shipment of Ranch.

3 comments:

Lisa Shafer said...

Hilarious.
But I haven't heard even one comment from one kid. I wonder if our school was really out of the stuff or if it's just not as popular to the same degree where I teach. (Yes, I've seen kids dunk pizza in it before, though.)

Alexia said...

Okay 2 questions -

1. WHY does pizza need any sort of dressing on it??

2. I Googled Ranch dressing - it sounds tasty, but very calorific...

I like the LOTF reference. Who is the Piggy, I wonder?

Have a good Sunday, Max.

Max Sartin said...

Lisa - It's probable that a few schools had enough back stock to weather the storm. I do know that 2 other schools in my area ran out of it too. Maybe it's a west side / east side thing?
Alexia - Well, it is school pizza, so the dressing helps.