Sunday, April 22, 2007

Dirtbag Day at the Chevron

Message went out on the dirtbag web that they should all show up at the Chevron. First there was Fu-Mahn-Chu crack head. Guy's grown his moustache out to a foot or so, long enough that he braids it. Looks, um, wicked-pissa. Yeah. Anyway, that's not what qualifies him as a DB. The fact that he comes in either drunk or high, is very loud (imagine me with a megaphone stuck in my throat), thinks that the "F" word is the only adjective, adverb, pronoun and exclaimation in the english language and cannot come in clean out the ATM and leave without commenting on everything that happens while he's there. Wonderful experience.
Then comes mobilehome guy. This guy lives out of a 1980's era Ford LTD Crown Vic. I gotta respect his choice in cars, if not his choice of homes. He used to hang around the store a while ago, but has been "on holiday" for the last 18 months. Shows back up with some tupperware, a couple bags of Top Ramen and proceeds to prepare his dinner in the store using our hot water and microwave. Even pours a bunch of that cheese sauce crap for the nachos all over it. Oh, did I mention that he doesn't purchase a single thing?
And the usual gang of "beer is a food group" bums and people who look upset when we don't leave the butts in ashtray. But at least there weren't any beggars to kick off the property.
Anyway, always exciting at the Chevron......

1 comment:

A Paperback Writer said...

Hey, you linked this to my blog! Wow. I am so honored. And thanks for the heads up on your new URL for the blog so I can actually read it now.
The Chevron stories always amuse me, but not quite as much as the school stories do.
Did I tell you about the day after Easter break with 40 hyper 7th-graders 4th period when one of them barfed all over the carpeted floor of the relo? Makes Chevron sound great, doesn't it?