Friday, December 21, 2012

What would you do on the last day of Earth?

Thursday I gave my typing students a typing assignment.  “If the world really was going to end tomorrow, what would you do today?…Must be G-rated.”  Gotta put that G-rated disclaimer in there or I would end up having to deal with the resulting hysterical amnesia.

Reading through them I found one unexpected trend.   At least 2/3 of them would want to, after doing some crazy stuff, spend the end with their families.  I really didn’t expect that.

Other not-so-unexpected trends included eating all kinds of unhealthy foods, stealing and driving cars, skydiving, and partying with friends.  And a lot of them started out confirming that they did not believe the world really was going to end.

Here are some memorable quotes:

“If the Mayans are supposed to be good at predicting the future, why are they all dead?”

“One, because the Mayans didn’t account for leap years and the second because they also didn’t account for the Spaniards wiping them out.”

“I would be on the Barney show, with Ellen.”

“I would steal (my teacher’s) glasses and wear them.  All day long.”

“use my sister’s car and go driving.  Yeah, you heard me, DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSE.  I am a bad boy.”

“So this concludes, if the world is going to end then the triumphant (student’s name) will just spend his night on the beach of Newport, sitting in his stolen dark red Ferrari.”

“spend all my money on a pet panda and a pet polar bear.  We would ride off into the sunset till we got eaten by zombies.”

“I would throw burning guinea pigs off the grand canyon.”

“get some Chinese food and ice cream and just party with the babes till the end.”

“Capture a bull and lead it to a china shop.”

“Maybe I’ll just sit on my roof waiting for the world to end.”

“I would take a nap between 5:00 and 5:30 P.M.”

“I would probably go outside and start singing the Psych theme song.”

“I would eat 50 fat boys and ice-cream sundaes".”

“Steal a wicked awesome Titanium body Corvette.  I would then wreck it against a brick wall.  I would dye a sheep orange and then cook it over a bonfire.”

“I wouldn’t let the end of the world stop me.”

“Drive to the zoo and ask a monkey for a high five.”

“I would go and raid Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and buy a hippopotamus from Santa Clause.”

“I would slap my enemies with fish.”

“buy a spaceship and 100 years worth of food and building material.  Then I would fly to the moon.”

“I would learn how to juggle chain saws and bowling balls.

“I would get a pie and stand on top of a small building and throw them at people that walk by.”

Now I have a list of things to do in 2013.


Lisa Shafer said...

Can I join you when you throw the flaming guinea pigs into the Grand Canyon? Except, can I make it my neighbors' dogs instead of the guinea pigs?

Max Sartin said...

Absolutely, on both accounts.

Lisa Shafer said...

Yea! Sounds like a New Year's plan to me. :)