Must have blacked out last night…

Got this email the other day…

Dear b3988efd9c84f71,
(uh you got my name wrong, it’s C3988efd9c84f71, my older brother is B…, little my sister is D… and my little brother is E… My parents won’t talk about what happened to A)

I was very furious when I listened to your voicemail last night.
(Sorry, I must have been channeling someone on the other side who has been haunting you, because I have no memory of leaving you an voicemail.)

You know, I did tell you about RNBI last month but you’re the one who was not interested in buying at the time. It was trading for just 10 or 15 cents if I remember correctly. You cannot now blame me by saying I didn’t tell you.
(Yeah, I don’t remember that either, this channeling thing must have been going on for a while.)

Anyway bullshit aside if you are still angry about missing the first wave I’m telling you its not too late but you need to listen to me now and buy as many s.h.a.r.es of RNBI as you can on Monday morning before they get too expensive and if you don’t it’s your own fault I don’t want you calling me again and leaving me another nasty voicemail.
(All supernatural stuff aside, I think I’ll pass.  Doesn’t look like your stock has done much in a long time.)

I spoke with my analyst buddy who is working on this specific stock-analysis and he told me we should expect to see shares hit past a dollar within the next 30 days. Do what you must.
(Oh, and did I mention that I did some checking on that new internet thingy.  Seems that your email is nothing but a big scam to artificially raise your stock value.  Here’s my guess:  If the incredibly transparent scam does work, RNBI stock prices will go up, until you decide it’s time to sell and then prices will plummet.  You will make a lot of money, and the people you duped into creating this rush will lose everything.  Amazingly, this seems to have worked before, back in 2013, as you can see by that spike on the graph above.  Hopefully, nobody falls for it this time.)

Take care
Your bud (my ass!)
Tamera

Before you think about getting in on this windfall, keep in mind that timing is everything.  Unless you know their timeline, you stand to lose everything.

For someone’s who never been to the South…

I’m sure making my mark.

First, it’s legal stuff in Georgia, and now it’s…

I’m just hoping that these are lawsuits that will net me some really big settlements, and not legal problems from a drunken rampage through the South that I can’t even remember.

***UPDATE***

This just in:

Seems my trail of blackout debauchery led me back to the state I spent my pre-teen years in.  Hmmm, musta been fun, wish I remembered it.

And I ain’t even been to Georgia lately.

Yet, I seem to be taking someone to court for some reason.

People really fall for this crap?  Even if I had been in Georgia lately, I probably wouldn’t forget filing some papers with the court a scant 11 days ago.

But then again, there may be big bucks in this, I should click on the link just to be sure, no?

I’m Rich!

I recently got this email, and I have to admit I’m flabbergasted.

(Click on it to read.)

I can’t believe it, I just inherited 10 million British Pounds.  That’s over 20 million US Dollars.  Wheeeeee!

I know, I know.  You’re thinking “But your grandparents immigrated from Italy, Russia and Poland.  Any distant relatives you might have in Great Britain would be so distant they wouldn’t even know you exist.”

But still, it does say I’m the lawful Heir/Beneficiary, and it wouldn’t lie, would it?

That’s ok.  I’ve already sent them my SS# and bank account # so they can process it and direct deposit it to my account.

And since you’re being so negative about the whole thing, you’re not invited on the two week cruise I’m chartering in January.

For my e-mail users…

Ok, here’s what the problem is – my e-mail service was switched to a different server, so there is a new address for the web portal.

The old one was: https://web14.dnchosting.com:2096/

The new one is: https://web112.dnchosting.com:2096/

I fixed it so the link on this blog is now correct, but if you have it bookmarked then you will have to make sure you update your bookmark.

Sorry about the confusion, please try it and let me know if you are still having problems with it.

Talk about a backlog.

I got an email today with a subject line that just said “Case #204609221”. 

The body of the email identified the sender as The Better Business Bureau and informed me that they were processing a complaint from one of my customers.

Near the end they warn me: “Failure to promptly give attention to this matter may be reflected in the report we give to consumers about your company.  We encourage you to print this complaint (attached file), answer the questions and respond to us.”  (note: “open the attached file” should always be a red flag.)

Red Flag #2 – I would never use my personal email for business purposes, so why did they send it there?

Big-Ass Red Flag #3 – The only business I ever owned went belly-up in June of 1985.

That’s one heck of a back-log, 27½ years.

But the best laugh was when I read the last line in the email:
“BBB Serving Metropolitan New York, Long Island and the Mid-Hudson Region”

Yup.  Provo, Utah falls under that region.  We often delivered pizza to the students at Brigham Young University of Long Island. 

Uh, yeah.

Trouble afoot. (Seems to be fixed)

Sorry folks, but my hosting service is having problems.  that means two things:

1. If you’re here to see my pictures, they won’t be coming through, since I keep them on my server rather than upload them to Blogger.
2. If you are an e-mail user you probably won’t be able to access your email.

I apologize for any inconvenience this causes anyone.  I’m sure they are working as fast as they can to get things back up and running.

Ah’m Skeered.

“If you don’t repost this, your worst week starts now.”

That’s what I read in a Facebook post 7 days ago.

Despite not reposting any part of it other than the threat of a terrible week, since then:

• A major grinding sound in the rear end of Old Blue turned out to be just loose lug nuts.
• The charging problem on Big Green was the 5 minute job of replacing the $20 regulator (I did it in the parts store parking lot), not the hour it would take to put in a new $50 alternator.
• I picked up some extra work on an online concurrent-enrollment math class, at $50 an hour.

• While at the meeting at the University of Utah for the math class work, my parking meter ran out of time 2 hours before I got out there.  I said something about having to run out there about 15 minutes after my hour was up and we all joked “Ah, the ticket’s already there.”  But when I got out there, my windshield was ticket free.  Anyone who has dealt with the U of U parking knows that’s not luck, that’s a miracle.
• A good friend from my last school just dropped by out of the blue and we had a great afternoon catching up.
• No major injuries were incurred when I fixed my broken clothes washer, at no cost.
• The house didn’t burn down, the car didn’t leave me stranded out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, I didn’t get robbed or in a car crash or have to visit the emergency room for any reason.

As my grandma Ida would have said; “I should have more worst weeks like this.” 

Email Info Page

All email users: Please note the tab at the top for the page that I added [Email Info].  Instead of boring all my readers with the saga that this migration is becoming, I will start putting any new info on that page.  Please check it every now and then, and if you have any problems, questions or comments, go there first to see if I have already addressed the problem.  You can also leave a comment on there in the event that your email is not working for some reason.

Thanks again for your patience.

More issues with the email.

I don’t know why roundcube will occasionally give you that database error, but the couple times it has happened to me, I just logged back in, stopped the autoload of roundcube and then clicked on squirrelmail.

One of those two has always worked, so you can still access your email.

Sorry about the inconvenience, I’ll le them know about the issue.

Important message for my email users.

I don’t know what happened, but none of my logins for the email service work.  I have sent in a trouble-ticket to the help desk, and will let you know what’s up as soon as I know.

Please try to access your email account at the new site.  Let me know either way – if you can access it or if you get an ‘invalid login’ error message.  Leave a comment on this post, since I can’t get to my email right now.

Thanks.

 

 

 

RESOLUTION: The good news is that none of you should have had any problem checking your email.  I was trying to get Thunderbird to access my email account, and because of too many faulty attempts, my IP address was blocked out.

So it was just me.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…

For all my email users:

Yes, the new email is replete with spam.  Offers for all kinds of stuff none of us need.

I figured out how to enable the site-wide spam identifier, now you will need to set your email to send all that spam to the junk folder.

Detailed directions are HERE.  And, as always, if you have any questions, let me know.

Thanks for your patience as I get things going and correct the problems we discover along the way.

Progress on the server switch…

Things have begun to change.  I’ve been working with the help desk and so far everything has gone smoother than I expected.

The website has been changed over to the new server.  My pictures and other accessories on the blog are no longer coming from that old computer at my house that I was using as a server. 

Which means that everything will still come through, even if the power goes out at my house.  Phew!

To those of you with srossi.net email accounts:

1 – I think that the email has been switched over to the new service, you will need to start using the new login page.  You should check the old site once in a while just to make sure no emails wander over there.  If any do show up at the old site – let me know as soon as possible.  I will need to know the time they show and what service they were sent from (gmail, yahoo, hotmail, srossi.net, etc..) so I can see if there is some correlation.

1.5 – Update – I just got two emails on the new site, but when I sent something from my school email, it went to the old site.  I’ll keep checking and keep you up to date.

2 – It seems, for now, you can send emails from either site, but you should probably stick to sending them from the new one.

3 – Check back here often, I will keep updates on what I see happening and let you know of any problems and/or resolutions.

Hilarious.

There’s a lot of stupid stuff on YouTube, but then a friend sends me a link to something like this and I realize it’s not all bad..

Why dogs bite people, or

… more stuff I stole from an email someone sent me…

View Full Album

Stuff

… Here are some more pictures I got in my email box.  I won’t vouch for their unaltered state – these days you have to look at every photo as possibly being photoshopped, but they’re still funny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Airport Clothing.

This’ll make getting through airport security a lot quicker – and without the embarrassment of a full body scan…

Chain email of the year.

Thanks to jmpnmark for this one.

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. 

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel. 
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years. 
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. 
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. 
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. 
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. 
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish. 
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. 
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. 
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. 
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. 
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans. 
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life. 
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. 
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. 
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. 
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. 
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. 
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p..m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . .

Oh, by the way..... a German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Put another dime in the jukebox, baby.

I love prop-a-ganda. Especially when it winds up in my email box, forwarded from who knows where originally.

I got this in an email from a coworker, but not the ex-coworker I usually get this kind of stuff from.

The title was “HIROSHIMA - 64 YEARS LATER”, and claims

THE AFTER PICTURES ARE VISUALLY EXTRAORDINARY HIROSHIMA  64 YRS LATER...

The tag line reads “Who the hell won the war!”

Here are the pictures that they included:

First they showed you the bomb:

 

Then the aftermath

Then “The colorful city, NOW:”

    

 

    Then they show you Detroit now, with the line:

DETROIT - 64 YEARS AFTER HIROSHIMA

Welcome to Detroit ...next 2 Exits - Drugs- Ammo

 

And it all ends with the tag line I mentioned before
“Who the hell won the war?”

The first thing that struck me was that all the Hiroshima ‘now’ pictures were taken  from above, at night.  I wondered what one might see if they searched the city down at street level, looking for the slums.

I didn’t even Google Hiroshima, but instead went the other way and spent about 5 minutes doing a image search for Detroit.  This is what I found:

Doesn’t matter whether or not you agree with the sentiment of the email, whether you find the bombing atrocious or whether you feel it was necessary, whether you agree or disagree with the rebuilding of Japan after the war.

Propaganda is propaganda is propaganda, and I sure wish people would stop sending me this crap in my emails.