Sunday, June 22, 2014

Must have blacked out last night…

Got this email the other day…

Dear b3988efd9c84f71,
(uh you got my name wrong, it’s C3988efd9c84f71, my older brother is B…, little my sister is D… and my little brother is E… My parents won’t talk about what happened to A)

I was very furious when I listened to your voicemail last night.
(Sorry, I must have been channeling someone on the other side who has been haunting you, because I have no memory of leaving you an voicemail.)

You know, I did tell you about RNBI last month but you’re the one who was not interested in buying at the time. It was trading for just 10 or 15 cents if I remember correctly. You cannot now blame me by saying I didn’t tell you.
(Yeah, I don’t remember that either, this channeling thing must have been going on for a while.)

Anyway bullshit aside if you are still angry about missing the first wave I’m telling you its not too late but you need to listen to me now and buy as many of RNBI as you can on Monday morning before they get too expensive and if you don’t it’s your own fault I don’t want you calling me again and leaving me another nasty voicemail.
(All supernatural stuff aside, I think I’ll pass.  Doesn’t look like your stock has done much in a long time.)

I spoke with my analyst buddy who is working on this specific stock-analysis and he told me we should expect to see shares hit past a dollar within the next 30 days. Do what you must.
(Oh, and did I mention that I did some checking on that new internet thingy.  Seems that your email is nothing but a big scam to artificially raise your stock value.  Here’s my guess:  If the incredibly transparent scam does work, RNBI stock prices will go up, until you decide it’s time to sell and then prices will plummet.  You will make a lot of money, and the people you duped into creating this rush will lose everything.  Amazingly, this seems to have worked before, back in 2013, as you can see by that spike on the graph above.  Hopefully, nobody falls for it this time.)

Take care
Your bud (my ass!)

Before you think about getting in on this windfall, keep in mind that timing is everything.  Unless you know their timeline, you stand to lose everything.

1 comment:

Lisa Shafer said...

Me? I just get dozens of offers of potential brides from Russia. Even though I'm female. And straight.