CAST OF CHARACTERS
John Swallow. An ultra-right wing Tea Partier that just got elected Attorney General for the State of Utah. In his week in office he has already started fundraising for the next election and is embroiled in a bribery scandal that is currently under investigation.
Gayle Ruzicka. Phone-tree Queen of the Eagle Forum of Utah, she was instrumental in creating a controversy over a local High School production of “Dead Man Walking”, where the patron comments to the Jordan School District were 699 in favor (give or take a few) to 1 opposed (exactly 1, no more, no less according to the district spokesperson herself). This also lead to the recent cancellation, (after 3 month of student practices, set building and choreography), of another High School’s production of “All Shook Up”. (Again, 1 patron caused the cancellation, which was only reversed after the copyright holder agreed to the required concessions.)
The conference room at the downtown Salt Lake Radisson Hotel.
The conference room is filled with people attending the opening day speeches for the Annual Eagle Forum of Utah pre-Legislative Session Conference. Gayle is on stage at the VIP table. Enter Jon Swallow, stage left…
John : “Welcome, blah, blah, blah.”
John: “Blah, blah, blah and some yadda, yadda, yadda".”
More audience applause.
John: “Gayle Ruzicka blah, blah, blah, when she passes, she’ll be going straight to the Celestial Kingdom, yak, yak, yak, blah, blah, yadda, yadda.”
Much applause. Curtain closes, applause fades.
END of Act One
Ok, I wasn’t actually there, so I used a little poetic license in the setting and dialog.
But our Attorney General did actually* claim that this hate-filled woman that feels the need to force her special definition of a “proper lifestyle” on every citizen of the State of Utah** would be headed directly to the highest level of Heaven.
*according to the Salt Lake Tribune.
Or, in the words of a friend of mine who’s LDS; “No she’s not. Unless I’ve grossly misunderstood my lessons all these years.”