Friday, August 01, 2008

Super Dell needs Super Straight-jacket.

Little history for those of you who don't know who Dell Schanze is. He's a local lunatic*. He used to own a string of computer stores in the Salt Lake area, his commercials were of the totally off the wall, in-your-face type. They were obnoxious and annoying, but not really offensive, except to your intelligence*. He made the news when confronted by a group of angry parents when he drove through their neighborhood at, some say, up to 50 MPH. He pulled a gun on the men because he felt threatened. Now, instead of just saying that the guys had a rock and he was with his young son and felt threatened, Super Dell starts arguing 2nd Amendment rights and that the State courts have no jurisdiction over him. I can't even remember how the court case came out, but I just remember him claiming that they had no right to judge him. A year later he's back in court and now he's claiming government harassment. This time he was flying his little one man helicopter and didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to buzz commuters on the freeway. After all, it's their own damn fault if they get startled by his copter and get in a crash* (my words, not his). Again I don't remember the outcome of the case, but he did lose his businesses shortly after, sold them to his brother-in-law for a song*.

So today, in the Salt Lake Tribune, I see his name again. I laready knew he was runnning for Governor of the Great State of Utah, I just didn't know how desperate he was to get the office*. He got one of those auto dialing machines and started calling with a recorded message calling Huntsman (our current Governor) an "anti-Christ socialist." And that's a direct quote from the Tribune, not just my opinion. Furthermore, when asked about it, he said "It's not name-calling. It's just stating fact." Now, Governor Huntsman is no Saint, nobody in government these day is, but to call him the anti-Christ is a little bit, um, how can I put this, totally and utterly deviod of reality?* Personally, despite his being a Republican, I kind of like Gov. Huntsman, he's lightyears better than that two faced Mike Leavitt* and the bonehead Nerm Bangerter who spent $60 million to water a concrete tree out in the middle of the west desert*. The democrats will have to come up with someone extrodinary to keep me from voting for Huntsman, and I rarely vote Republican. So Dell thinks Huntsman is responsible for outrageous taxes, not standing up for gun rights and, ironically, signing laws that ristrict our freedoms and failing to stop abortion. Even funnier, if it weren't for Gov. Huntsman, we'd all be driving cars that run off water. Yup, Super Dell is sure of that, after all he has a friend that has a 4 stroke Weed Eater that runs completely on water. (So, why doesn't his friend patent and sell the technology?). I hope he get's elected Governor, it'll give Bagely (a local political cartoonist) a lot of material for the next 4 years.

*These, and possibly other, statements are my opinion only, and are not proven facts.


A Paperback Writer said...

Well, he's an idiot, but at least we can overlook him, unlike Chris Butthead, who has influence and power and says things that are just as stupid.
And I'm sure Bagley will have something to say about the anti-Christ thing.

TM.Cavalier said...

Could you imagine what would happen if he was elected?! (I mean, first it would prove that the average IQ in the state was in fact hovering around 60.) In Obama's first 100 days he would be signing into law the first "forced secession" of a US state in history.

Reporter: "So what's the deal with Utah?"
Obama: "Utah, never heard of it."
Reporter: "You know that state west of Colorado?"
Obama: "Nevada?"
Reporter: "No, Mr. President, the state between Nevada and Colorado."
Obama: "Oh, you mean the sovereign nation of the Peoples' Republic of Superdell(tm). No Comment. Next question please?"

Max said...

Yeah, Bagley'll have a heyday with that stuff, but I think he's getting a little scary. I could see him not getting elected and then storming the capitol in an attempted coup d'etat. The man is a card carrying memeber of the NRA, makes Charlton Heston look like a pansy.
So TMC, think we'll all become unwilling subjects of Herr Superdell, or will we be given the opportunity to defect to the good old USA (assuming there's anything left after another 171 days of GW)?

Jannx said...

Interesting, but a bit scary thinking about the possibilities.

Max said...

Yeah, fortunatly most of the people in Utah know what a joke Super Dell is, I really can't even imagine him getting elected.