Friday, April 23, 2010

Karma, Viagra, condoms and marijuana.

  1. Talking on the cell phone can be distracting.  And annoying for the cashier.  Except when the guy comes in, pays for his soda without ripping away from the cell phone or even acknowledging me as I ring him up.  And then is so distracted by his conversation that he forgets the drink he just paid for.  It was the only thing he bought, his sole reason for coming in, and he never came back for it.
  2. viagra A couple of ninth graders are hanging out in my class near the end of my prep period. We’ve been chatting for a while when they ask if I have any candy in my room*.  I open up my desk drawer, and I just happen to have a can of ALTOIDS® smalls® wintergreen.  So I hand them a few, and they happen to notice that they look a little like Viagra pills, so one of them thanks me for the Viagra.  My response?  Um, don’t say that, I don’t need the rumor going around that I’m feeding Viagra to 9th grade boys.
  3. I’m in talking to the V.P. at my school, whom I get along with quite well, when he hands me something from under some papers he just picked up.  It was a condom he confiscated from one of the eighth graders**.  We’re talking about it when he tells me “Be sure to use it before it’s expiration date.”  I went into his office the next day and said “I went to the bar last night and ‘Hey, want to help me with an assignment from my V.P.?’ isn’t a very good pick-up line.”
  4. Today I went in to talk to him again, and he told me about how he had to confiscate some marijuana from a student earlier in the day.  I asked him if he was going to give me that confiscated item too.

Other than 8 period days, CRTs***, and being exiled from my room because of them, that’s been my week.  The good news is: I’m done with the CRTs.  The bad news is: I’m done with the CRTs, and now I’m going to have to fight the “We took the test, why do we still have to learn” attitude for a week or so.sartin

* Yes, that sounds like the beginning of a really bad Movie of the Week, but it is a common question from jr. high kids.

** Personally, I would have just let the kid keep it, but thanks to the likes of Gayle Ruzicka & Co., jr. high administrators are required to confiscate them.

*** CRT – Criterion Referenced Tests.  Those fun end of the year tests we have all the students take thanks to No Child Left Behind.

2 comments:

A Paperback Writer said...

I only confiscate condoms if they're playing with them in class. Seriously, wrapped or unwrapped, one of those things being thrown around is a distraction. However, once, years ago, when one of my 9th grade girls came in after school WITH HER BABY to pick up the packaged condom I'd confiscated from her, I gave it back with merely the reminder TO USE IT PROPERLY AND NOT IN CLASS.
I don't care what the legislature says, THAT girl needed it back.

Max said...

I agree with you 100%. That's why when L, at the high school, would throw them at kissing couples and yell out "Safe Sex". we all just looked the other way. Sometimes you have to do what's best for the kids despite what the legislature says.