Thursday, January 14, 2010

Thoughts for the New Year

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die..

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2010
Life is like a jar of habanera peppers;
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow

We must become the change
We want to see in the world


A Paperback Writer said...

I like #6.

Max said...

I think my favorites are #10 and #7

A Paperback Writer said...

#8 is mostly true in junior high -- except that there it needs to be "hungry, horny, or sullen."