Denny's has added a new item to their menu - called the "Octuplet Slam"
You get eight eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay for it.
And this from my older brother, the writer of "The World According to Pedro":
A gynecologist had become so fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark, You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. This equaled an A."After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.
And finally, I was discussing Parent/Teacher Conferences with a student who was concerened about what I would be telling his parents. He told me that he would only be worried if his mother came, because his father wouldn't care. When I asked him what he meant by that, he told me that all his father ever says is "Get good grades and don't get laid until college." Good intentions, bad execution.
(This is what you get when I take a break from spending the whole day doing homework)