Sunday, March 08, 2009

Couple o' jokes and a funny(ish) student comment.

Denny's has added a new item to their menu - called the "Octuplet Slam"
You get eight eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay for it.
-------(badbim-badaboom)----------------------------------------------------
And this from my older brother, the writer of "The World According to Pedro":
A gynecologist had become so fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
    When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained  a  score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I  don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
     The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart  perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark, You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. This equaled an A."
    After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.
And finally, I was discussing Parent/Teacher Conferences with a student who was concerened about what I would be telling his parents.  He told me that he would only be worried if his mother came, because his father wouldn't care.  When I asked him what he meant by that, he told me that all his father ever says is "Get good grades and don't get laid until college."  Good intentions, bad execution.
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(This is what you get when I take a break from spending the whole day doing homework)

7 comments:

jmpnmark said...

I got a good one off a few weeks back. For some reason a few of my workmates decided bonding would be a good thing and started relating the sad experience of losing a parent. Believe me they were relating detailed heart wrenching descriptions.

Not much I could do about it, my cubicle is right there. They finish and look at me like its my turn to share.

I finally just shrugged and said I hope I die in my sleep like my father did... Not like those other three people screaming at the top of their lungs as the car drove off the cliff.

The good news is they've stopped trying to make me 'bond'.

A Paperback Writer said...

Love the Denny's joke. :)

Did you get the 70s catalog that I forwarded to you at school today? it was hysterical.

Max said...

Yeah, I almost peed my pants over the Denny's joke.
I just checked my school email, and found the JCPenny catalog. OMG! Now, I have to admit that I do remember being dressed much like that kid when I was in elementary school. Yes. I know. But it was a long time ago. I didn't read the whole thing, I'll do that later, but just the pictures and what little I read, hilarious!

Max said...

jmpnmark;
See, the weird thing is that your comments like that were what made us want to keep you around.

A Paperback Writer said...

Yeah, I recall dressing like some of those pics, too. And the men's pj ensemble looks very much like something I had for my Ken doll in about 1973.

jmpnmark said...

I was always used to being the funniest guy in the room growing up. When it came to the MW crew I ranked myself as about 'average'.

Max said...

The first school I taught at had a faculty where the Spanish teacher (with whom I’m still good friends) and I were the craziest by far. Whenever anything happened (like a skeleton dressed up as a student from the 70’s was found inside a wall), the immediate reaction was “Rossi & Burt”. Then I moved to my second school on the other side of the valley and when a 4’ stuffed fish, named Shawn Phish, showed up at my room for a “time out”, I knew my insanity was going to get a run for its money. Same thing with the Motel West, we all were a little bit off and no one or two people were responsible for all the good ideas.