The other day I call Adele (also known as Pam, the Spanish teacher I met my first year teaching) to tell her that the LTD is not only legal and insured, but that I had just had a bunch of work done on the front end and I had deemed it road-trip worthy. So we decide to take it for a drive up to Ogden and get dinner at a little place across from where she works. Today we stop at the Tesoro on 33rd and 23rd, grab a couple of drinks for the road (just soda) and head out. Everything's going great, it's not too hot anymore (this is around 7 pm), the car is running great and Adele is having fun with the camera. We head up 23rd, enter the freeway heading west and cruise past 7th east. I'm in the middle lane as we get to the State Street exit, so we can veer left and merge into I-15 north. Ever wonder why it's referred to as a "tire blowout"? 'Cause when it blows out, it's an explosion. I thought the whole back end of the car had been blown off. Happened right as we got onto the bridge over State. After I said it, I did it, and then took my foot off the gas, (without slamming on the brakes) and started moving over to the right side. Completely, utterly on cruise control, running on instinct because I don't remember thinking anything until we got stopped in the break-down lane. But we made it safely. I got out on the passenger side, found out that the tire that blew was also on that side, meaning I'd at least have the car between me and traffic when changing the tire. Except that when I got the spare out, although in excellent condition, it was flat. So I called Rae, who came to our rescue and brought us, and the tire, to the Chevron to fill up the spare. Stroke of good luck : the tire held the air, it's flatness was due to sitting for so long, not a leak. We get back to the car and I start to take off the lug nuts, which are on there pretty tight. Real, real tight. I have to stand on the lug wrench to loosen the lug nuts, and 2 of them still refused to loosen, just started rounding the nuts. This is where I decide "F" this, I'm not fighting these lug nuts on the side of the freeway, with the sun already setting, cars whizzing past us at 70+ and honking their horns like we've chosen to be there. (Yes, like I was happy to be there). Called a tow truck and had it towed up to Dan & Rae's house (anyone that knows my driveway knows why I had it towed there). So, now it's sitting down at their house, I have to figure out a way to get the tire off (shouldn't be too bad there), then take it somewhere to get new tires put on the back (don't trust the other one now) and figure out what I'm going to do about the damage to the car - click HERE to see the pictures. And thanks to Dan, Rae and Adele, who all made what could have been a disastrous experience not so bad. It's great having a family and friends that I know I can count on, love ya all.
18 comments:
And suddenly I'm really glad you've never offered to take me on a date.
wow. um, well, the whole thing just sounds like one big Monday, but it obviously wasn't.
Of course, if you'd managed all this in a snowstorm, it could been just that much more fun....
Well, it wasn't really what you call a date, we've just been really good friends ever since we bonded over Enid Greene Waldholtz and my "Watergate/Waterbreak" comment. A snowstorm. Thanks, that would have made it a LOT more fun. Of course we probably would have been in the Subaru since the whole idea of the LTD is to drive with the top down, and that's no fun in a snowsorm. Not for long drives at least. Trust me, I've tried it. Dragging State Street with the top down in a snow storm can be amusing, get a lot of weird comments/looks. But there's a point where it gets a little chilly. Well, I'm off to survey the damage and see what I can do about getting the tire off. Have fun, I know I will.
You failed to mention your other wife Pam was with you! Here I was concerned for your well being and all the time you had a woman with you, ready to console you and give you mouth to mouth if you required it! I've learned my lesson: no more worrying about you Mr. MacGyver! :)
P.S. Adele looks fun; maybe we should all meet sometime, or is that too close to polygamy for you? ;)
Well, we'll really have to put off the 1st Annual Rossi Polygamy-a-Rama until my other wife gets back from Cambridge, England. But other than that I can't think of anything more fun than being surrounded by all the women my students have thought I was married to. Weeeeeeeeee!
And I keep trying to explain to people here (who of course ask about polygamy -- it's not bad enough that it's all people ever remember about Mormons, but now we have Big Love to help the topic come up as well...) that we have polygamy jokes in Utah, that to deal with the whole repulsive situation and the fact that lots of people (ME!! g-g- grandpa had 5 wives and 32 children.... that we know about, anyway) have polyg ancestors is to make fun of it. They look at me funny when I try to explain the polygamist date jokes.
Yup, Max, it's for you. You are the elegible bachelor and all these women want you -- but not full time. Just call us all yours and be done with it. That way we all get you but no one of us has to keep you when we need a break. By the time it's our turn again, you'll be looking pretty good.
Writer - I was enjoying your post - all the way until the last sentence. "By the time it's our turn again, you'll be looking pretty good." Man, what a testimonial. "After walking 40 miles in the desert, this rock'll seem dang comfortable." "After fasting for a week, our hoof-burger is pretty tasty." Yeah, that's me - last-man-on-earth gorgeous.
Well, let's see here. Your "competition" in my life with other males would be.... uh, not much.
Today I was completely and totally caught by surprise by a 20-ish fellow in my history class. He'd gone with some other college kids (all 20-ish) to Edinburgh over the 3-day weekend they gave us, and I'd given them advice. In return, they'd given me directions on walking to the nearby village of Granchester, but I hadn't gone because of the rain. So this guy says he'd like to go again, and I didn't pick up on what he meant, so he actually asked me if he could take me there tomorrow. I flat out said, "Wouldn't you be better off asking someone who wasn't middle-aged?" and he said he didn't care. So I have something of a "date" (but not really) tomorrow.
That is THE only time a man (okay, so he's really more of a boy, but he IS lacking the second X chromosome) has requested my company for ANY reason not involving help with homework in the LAST TWO YEARS.
So, it's not like you have a whole lot of competition from my point of view, and, yeah, you do look pretty good to me. However, it doesn't do me much good since I'm not exactly nearby, and you only like cyberflirting with me anyway.
And besides, you can't complain. You are a single, straight man with a job and no ex-wives or children. And you live in UTAH, marriage capital of the world. You could be married by the time school started if you weren't too particular about who/what you got. And if you were picky, it might take you until Christmas to find someone. It's not like there aren't any women interested in commitment in this state.
So stop yer whinin', boy. Enjoy the freedom you've chosen or pick yerself a wife (or two or three, heck, it IS Utah).
I'm going to enjoy my time with the 20-ish kid tomorrow because it may be another 2 years before a man is interested in my company. Women are like cars and computers: we lose market value as we age. Men are like wine and cheese: they gain market value if they mature well.
Okay, so maybe "mature" isn't the right word to use with you, but that missing second X chromosome does mean that you are not automatically out of comission in the view of the opposite sex just because you're over 35, which is what happens with women.
No, I'm not grumpy. I'm laughing. (Hey, I just had a guy half my age ask me to go on a long walk with him.) But it's all true.
PS.
Glad you liked the Rolling Stones joke I e-mailed you.
Women are like cars and computers? Cars especially, and computers to some degree too, do decrease in value as they age - to a certain point. Then they become rare and, as in the case of my LTD, become worth more than their original sticker price. Men are like wine and cheese? Yeah, wine and cheese improve with age - again to a certain point. Then wine turns into vinegar and cheese gets all moldy.
Anyway, loved the joke, and have fun on the walk. Hopefully you won't get rained on.
So, how much is that "rare" Atari computer you found at school worth? ;)
The local science/technology museum here includes a display of calculators -- including a nice TI35 like I bought for trig in 1980. Great. I now qualify to be in a museum. It was bad enough when my old toys became antiques, but now my old technology is classes as museum-worthy. Hmmm... maybe I could donate the old calculator.
I looked up old Atari's on eBay, and I saw one up to $61 bucks. So, maybe the computer analogy isn't so great, but the car one works well.
I've posted my computer adventures for the day on my blog. Do read and understand my frustration.
So, Max how much does a TI-35 Calculator go for with a Carter/Mondale '80 sticker on the back go for on eBay?
As to classic cars getting better with age, how is the appreciation going on the '74 Dotson 120Y? Or how about a rebuilt '74 Ford Pinto?
Yes some males do get better with age (Sean Connery would be the fully restored '68 Mustang) whereas some of us older people are like a '74 Pinto...and some are like the old rusted "Fred" in the Pixar movie Cars...
See Max, I completely left the polygamy angle alone...too easy, too easy...
:)
TM.Cavalier
TMC – I dunno how much a TI-35 would go for, but I think I paid $10 for the Carter/Mondale sticker I put on the back of my ’70 LTD. I have to concede your point on the type of car, just looked up 74 Pinto and there was only one – going for $1,500, though that’s probably not much less than it originally cost, since I remember a brand new VW Beetle went for $1,995 in 1972. Datsun, on the other hand, fared very well. Although I couldn’t find a 120Y, the 240Z’s averaged somewhere around $5,000, with a ’71 going for $18,000. Granted the high for a Datsun truck of that era was $500, there was a ’72 510 wagon going for $10,000. Guess, like human beings, it’s being able to pick the right one. Ok, now that you’re completely bored with my car talk… (Several years ago I got called into the principal’s office because my AP Algebra class had figured out that they could get me to waste half the period just by bringing up cars. The principal was pretty cool about it, she just said “STOP IT”. And it’s the same principal that recruited me over to Granite High, so I must have redeemed myself.)
Oh, and thanks for not bringing up the polygamy angle.
Face it, Max. If your cars were like women (reversing my previous analogy that women are like cars, but, you know, if a=b then b=a, right?), then you are definitely a polygamist already. and you love it.
Yeah, but at least all of mine are of legal age and I don't need to go on welfare to support them*. (Ok, let's face it, that's only because they don't give welfare for cars). Actually, I've already drawn up the plans for when I win the lottery, buy the house next door, level it and build a multi-level garage for all the cars I'm going to buy. Of course, amybe I should start buying the lottery tickets first, and work on the plans second...... nah.
* Disclaimer : This joke is directed at past & recent polygamist leaders in the news and the courts for practicing pedophilia and welfare fraud. It is in no way meant to imply that all polygamists, past and present, were involved in these illegal and immoral practices.
Max, it's okay. I make fun of polygamists, too. Relax.
And yes, I'm now back from my "date" with the 20-year-old. It actually didn't even rain. I'm going to write a post on the trip, so drop over and read it.
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