I've been going to those self-serve car 
washes since, well, before I hit that bicyclist while pulling into one at around 3 AM (in my defense, the cop even commented that the guy was wearing dark clothes and every single reflector on his bike was busted out. And I didn't get a ticked for it). Musta been sometime in the early 80's, 'cause I was driving the Pinto home after getting off work from Free Wheeler.
washes since, well, before I hit that bicyclist while pulling into one at around 3 AM (in my defense, the cop even commented that the guy was wearing dark clothes and every single reflector on his bike was busted out. And I didn't get a ticked for it). Musta been sometime in the early 80's, 'cause I was driving the Pinto home after getting off work from Free Wheeler. .
Anyway, I got the BattleCruiser out and about today because I wanted to pick up some stuff from Home Depot, and stopped at the car wash on the way. I pull into parking lot, and there's this white Subaru Forrester sitting there, blocking about 3 bays, waiting for the first one that opens up. As I pull in he moves over a couple bays, and I pull right behind the car in the first bay, waiting for them to get done, like I've always done. Well, my guy gets done before any of the other ones and I get into the car to pull into the bay. The white Subaru pulls up next to me, the window comes down and this 20-something skater says "Dude, you just snaked my place." Dumbfounded, I just look at him for a second. "Dude, I was in front of you." So, I look at him and go "Uh, no, 'cause then you'd be in the bay right now."
SKATER DUDE: "I was waitin' right over there (pointing to where he was when I pulled into the parking lot) and you just snaked ahead of me."
ME : "No, you'd pulled up over there (pointing to a spot on the other side of my bay, where he had his back to the bay), I figured you'd gone to another bay."
SKATER DUDE : "Man, I wuz here first."
ME: "I'll move, but you're not supposed to just come in here and hover over all the bays waiting for one to open up." I cranked up the car, backed up, threw it into 1st, goosed it and slammed his little Subaru into next week.
.
Ok, the slamming his car into next week didn't happen, but I thought about it. But then I pictured the headline "Irate Teacher Pulls 'Fried Green Tomatoes' Move, Spends Night In Jail".
6 comments:
Wait. Are you SURE this guy wasn't my next door neighbor? It sure SOUNDS like something he'd do.
The only reason I'd say it's not your neighbor is because he wasn't driving a big BBA* Edition truck. He just doesn't sound like the Subaru driving type.
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BBA Edition - "Bobby Bad Ass" - jacked-up, huge tires, lotsa extra lights, push bar and generally includes a gun rack.
My neighbors usually have five cars: two SUVs, one old BMW, and two others that rotate: last week it was the monster truck and a cream-colored, expensive-looking something or other. This week it's just a medium-sized green truck with a shell on it.
I have a few ideas as to why the cars rotate, and not one of them involves any honesty on their part.
Surely you jest, they would NEVER do anything underhanded.
(I'm not kidding, and quit calling me Shirley)
I mean, I'm bad when it comes to cars, but I've never rotated through them by the week. The shortest I've ever owned a car is two months, but I average over a year and a half. (yes, I have a spreadsheet that keeps track of this for me.)
With the sheer number of cars you've owned, I can see why you'd need a spreadsheet. Since I've only owned 3 in my life, it's not really an issue to keep track of them.
I don't think they actually own these extra cars: the cars arrive with licenses on them.
But I'm still not sure why they have the 3 other cars with only 2 drivers. It's not like you: you collect cars and take car of them. YOU wouldn't leave a BMW sitting on the road unused for months at a time. Nor would you own 2 gashoggin SUVs. They don't work on the cars. They don't drive them very often. They don't take care of them well. They just park them in front of other people's houses.
Hmm, weird. If they were stolen you'd think they'd either strip them fast or at least hide them somewhere. Ya gotta wonder what they're doing with them, other than annoying the neighbors.
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