Expecting luxury at economy prices....

Ok, you have had a drunk puke all over the passenger door of your car and for some reason you didn't get around to cleaning it off until it had time to "bake on". You go to the nearest Chevron to go through one of those automated car washes. Baked on puke, do you choose the Supreme car wash, the Plus or the Economy car wash? This customer choose the Economy car wash, lowest one on the list, and then wanted her money back when it didn't get the window clean. Told her that I couldn't give her her money back, but offered her a new wash. She took it complaining the whole way, mumbling something about coming back again and again until it got clean. After the second wash I guess she decided that it wasn't worth the time and sent her daughter in to get her money back. This is when she explains about the baked on puke, and I explain to her that not only can't I give her the money back, she'll have to talk to the manager in the morning, but also that the Economy wash is meant as a quick wash to get the grime off the car, and you really can't expect it to get something that bad off. Not happy, but they did go get one of the window squeegees and scrubbed it off.

Car buying experiences.. this one from Danny

I am without a minivan at the moment, we have been having transmission problems. The other day we found that it was going to be costly to fix so we thought we would look to see what is out there and maybe buy another minivan. So I found another all wheel drive minivan, newer with less miles and Rae and I went to take a look at it. It took me three days to hook up with the guy selling the van. Rae and I stop by his place, take a look at the van. It's ok, body is a little beat, but we are looking to go cheap so why not. I ask the guy to take a test drive. He says "well I can't have you driving it but I will take you for a ride in it." WHAT?? Then he says "I just can't take the chances I have been burned once before on a vehicle that was wrecked." I tell him I have full coverage, shouldn't be a problem, he says "Well, no I can't do it, I hope you understand" to which I say "No I don't" and walked away. Yeah, like I am going to buy a beat up minivan without driving it. So let me see, how are the brakes? Does it pull to one side? How does the steering feel? Yeah, and I bet he would answer these totally honestly... Ok, dude, get a life, pay for full coverage if you are that concerned and let people test drive it. Anyhow, needless to say we didn't buy it, we just walked away and under our breath wished him lotsa luck selling it.
Danny.
P.S. Think we are gonna keep the van and fix it.

Happy Birthday Landon!

Blast from the past....

Everybody who remembers what a BBS is, raise their hands..............ok, three of you. Well, I like to think of them as the infancy of the Internet - when one computer could connect with one other computer over the phone lines. One-to-one connections only, if someone was on your favorite BBS you just had to wait until they got off. Information transfer rates were originally (for my experience) 300 baud, which meant you could watch the letters of a post like this one come in one at a time, like someone was typing it just for you. Rich people had 1200 baud, a whole sentence at a time. Pictures? Uh, yeah right. First of all, computer screens were all monochromatic, my Apple IIe had a black background with green letters. That's it. But the BBS was almost exactly like this blog here - the sysop would write about something and the rest of us could respond.

The one I hung out at was "The Motel West", run by Sir Duke. My alias was Dirty Bastard Rat (started out Lucifer, but thanks to "Your Conscious" and some BBS type siblingish rivalry, Sir Duke ended up changing my alias when I wasn't looking.) The Motel West, like many other BBSs, was not just a couple computers talking to each other, it became a community. There was a core of us that met through the BBS and we ended up becoming good friends and spending a lot of time together in the real world - to the extent of renting a house in West Valley together (dubbed "HQ"), and 20 years later still being in weekly contact with at least one of the people I met there.

So, today I got an e-mail from Sir Duke himself, who disappeared off the face of the earth over a decade ago. It was good to hear from him, good to remember the times we had, things we did and trouble we always seemed to just barely miss getting into.

Sir Duke, glad to hear you're faring well.

Smart Princess

Once upon a time in a land far away,a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
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That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't freakin think so.

Inspriational Posters Uber Alles

A Paperback Writer sent me a link to a great website. You know those inspirational posters you see all over the place? Kind of like the one on the left, but usually serious. Well these are a little bit different. They are all based on the original Star Trek series, and most of them are hilarious. Some of the jokes you'll get whether you are a fan or not, some will be funny only to die-hard Trekkies. Check it out HERE.

I think I'm going to go fill up the car.......

Short term gain or long term security? This one day gas boycott is a sign of typical American self-centeredness. Let's get those evil gas companies to cut their prices so we can continue top consume gas at our current rate. Let's not try changing our habits, creating a long lasting change in demand for gas, lowering our dependance on foreign oil thereby relieving the power the middle-east has over our country. Not to mention the pollution. But let's face it, if it's going to cost us some of our creature comforts, if it's going to mean we have to give something up, we're not willing to do it. One day, hell yes. Make it a week or two and see how many people pass THAT e-mail on.

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And on that note, I'm going out to fill up my car.

Ciao.

Happy Birthday Marijke!

Motorcycle - yes, Rusting piles of truck - no.

The motorcycle is back on the road. It needed a short fixed, the fork oil changed, axle grease changed, major tune up and a new back tire. But it's running great and even passed inspection. And with gas predicted to reach $4 a gallon this summer, it'll be nice to have something to drive that gets 30 -40 MPG. If the weather permits, I plan on driving it to school the rest of the school year.

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Spent Saturday getting the rusting buckets of trucks out of my side yard and down to Granite High. (click here to see the 'they're here-they're gone' pictures) I decided to donate them to the school, get a high blue-book write off and don't have to bother trying to sell them. I had to jump start the Nissan, first tried with the Subaru and that was taking too long, so I hooked it up to the LTD for a minute and it cranked right over. Drove it down there and then walked up to Highland Drive and rode the bus the rest of the way home. Planned on calling it a day, but I decided to at least try to get the Ford started, pulled the battery out of the '68, put it in and the damn thing cranked right over. So, drove that down to school and walked over to 7th east, caught the bus to 21st So and walked the rest of the way home. Very productive day - got rid of two eyesores and got a bunch of exercise.

Sympathies for lower species.

Getting dressed this last week has made me really appreciate the disadvantage that species without an opposable thumb live under. Try buttoning your pants without using only one of your thumbs. Now try without either one. Fun stuff. But the good news is that Frankenfinger is healing just fine. I can use it to button my pants and it doesn't even hurt anymore.

Happy Mother's Day!

Frankenfinger and the Salisbury Steak.

Remember salisbury steak, still the frozen dinner favorite? Basically a hamburger cooked in a gooey gravy with chunks of onion, a way of dressing up cheap burger at the end of the month. I remember as a kid thinking of it as "old folks food", it's kind of bland, I didn't much care for it, but the adults seemed to like it. Well, as I'm eating my microwaved salisbury steak, I'm thinking "this ain't half bad, it'd probably be pretty good if was made fresh." Sheesh! All that's left is the ear hair and bi-focals. Uh, ok, just the ear hair.....
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Tuesday the bandage on my finger got wet at school so I changed it. Had to show off the finger before wrapping it up. Two days later as I'm walking down the hall one of the teachers asks me "So, how's Frankenfinger doing?" Took me a second or two to make the connection, but so funny it made the whole experience worthwhile. Almost.

As if 13 year olds acting like 13 year olds ain't annoying enough.....

She walked into the Chevron like she was walking onto a yacht..... (if you recognize those lyrics, you're old. like me.)

Bleached blonde hair. Tight care-bear shirt and a short Levi cutoff skirt. Just enough extra weight on her 20-something frame to make this outfit you usually see on a 7th grade girl look kind of like a poorly stuffed sausage. She walks in talking on her cell phone, loudly, with a sing-song voice that brought me right back to my Jr. High teaching days (well, it was only a year ago). Even at the counter we can hear her talking at the back of the store. Things like whatever!, omg, bff, inbd and other girly texting phrases. She goes through the entire checking-out process talking on her phone like this and as she walks out the door the guy I'm helping turns to me, holding back a laugh, and asks "What the hell was that?" An overweight 13-year-old that's old enough to buy beer. Thats what.

So, please keep in mind that when you are talking on your cell phone in public - it's not all that private, and many of us really don't want to hear it. And what we do want to hear, we just want to make fun of......

Just when you'd decided the human race sucks......

First of all - Happy Cinco De Mayo...

Danny calls me the other day and asks if I'd be willing to help him demolish his mother-in-law's bathroom if she paid us. The first thing out of my mouth was "pay us? what for?" We settled on lunch and the fun of demolishing a bathroom. So today Danny, Alex and I ripped out the whole bathroom and cleaned up (that's why she had to make us dinner, if we hadn't had to clean up we woulda had to pay her.)

So Danny, Josh and I head out to the dump and while we're cleaning the trash out of the trailer, one of the pieces of the toilet (somehow it got broken going into the trailer, can't imagine how that happened), with a nice jagged end decides to slice the hell out of my thumb. Nice and deep, blood all over the place. I'm jumping around holding my thumb, putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding and the lady next to us runs over to her Suburban, gets out her first aid kit and calls me over. Cleans it, and wraps it all up. It stops bleeding, as long as I'm holding it tightly, so Danny and I decide he should finish cleaning out the trailer and then we'd head out to the Insta-Care right by my house and get it stitched up. So, I'm there holding my thumb above my head and Danny is busting butt to get the trailer cleaned out when the husband from next to us comes over and helps Danny finish with the trailer. The wife then comes over and checks the thumb again and even helps me get myself buckled into my seat while danny packs up the tarp and gets us ready to go. Just when I was developing a serious distaste for the entire human race.........

Josh was cute at the Insta-Care. You could tell that he was really interested in what was going on, and at the same time, kinda scared of the whole thing. He'd ask his dad to bring him over and let him sdee, look for 5 seconds and then want to go sit back down, did that 5 or 6 times. Wanna see, dont' wanna see. So, dozen and a half stiches later and we're out of there. Thumb's still numb, just waiting until it's all thawed out and I can feel the pain......

Don't pump gas on May 15th?

Got this in an e-mail (twice) today :
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NO GAS...On May 15th 2007

Don't pump gas on may 15th ; In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.On May 15th 2007, all internet users are asked not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places. There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up.If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companys pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.If you agree (which I cant see why you wouldnt) resend this to all your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th"

On the surface, this looks like a great idea. But I thought about it and came to the realization that it is the typical American response. Choking on the crap in the air all winter is irrelevant. Global warming is too. And who gives a crap about the political problems caused by dependance on foreign oil. Nope, but we get really pissed off when gas gets up past $3 a gallon (Europe has been paying over $6 a gallon for years). And then, are we going to do something real about it? Are we going to give up our big-block V8 SUV's? Are we going to transfer our work closer to home so we have a shorter commute (or move closer to our jobs)? Car pool? Take the bus? Hell no, but we will put off filling up the car - for 1 day! That'll show them. Question : of the $3 BILLION dollars we take out of the oil companies pockets, how much will we really be giving them the day before in anticipation of this protest? How much will simply be postponed until the 16th? Doing it in '97 was obviously only temporary, what do we really expect to accomplish?

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Here's a better idea - on the 15th of May flip off anyone driving a big SUV, Crown Vic, Corvette or any other gas-sucking hog, with no one else in the vehicle with them.

Restoring our Constitutional rights.........

White Lioness :

Haven't heard that one in a while, have you? I decided, this being a blog, that I'd go with the old Motel West alias.

Anyway, I signed the petition to reinstate Habeas Corpus and due process, and ask that anyone else that agrees follow the link and sign the petition.

Here is the text of the petition, I took it straight off the ACLU web site - they asked that those who sign spread the word, so I'm assuming that includes the exact wording.....

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RESTORE OUR RIGHTS
Delivery date: June 26, 2007

To My Members of Congress:

The Constitution and due process are in danger in America, as the Bush administration continues to run roughshod over our most fundamental constitutional rights.

We can no longer stand on the sidelines while the president extinguishes the light of American values, our civil liberties, and respect for law.

The America we know is disappearing, and the time to reverse this trend is now. I urge you to act immediately to:

1. Restore habeas corpus and due process.
2. Pass the Restoring the Constitution Act of 2007.
3. End torture and abuse in secret prisons.
4. Stop extraordinary rendition: secretly kidnapping people and sending them to countries that torture.
5. Close the detention center at Guantánamo Bay and give those held there access to justice.
6. Investigate wrongdoing and ensure those who broke the law are held accountable.
7. Restore American values and the rule of law.

Our commitment to freedom and fairness has made America the great country that it is today.

That is why we’ve come together to demand that you act immediately to preserve the hard-won rights that define us as a nation.

I stand with the ACLU and my fellow Americans, in person or in spirit, as we gather in Washington to restore our America this June 26, 2007.

Sincerely,
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Here's the link to : Sign the petition to restore Habeas.

If you don't agree with it, that's your right, but it reminds me of this quote :

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

Adding & Reading new comments.

Got a couple good responses to some of my posts, you might want to check them out. If you look at the bottom of each post there is a line that reads :
"Posted by Max at 00:00:00 PM 2 comments"
If there are more than 0 comments, just click on the title of the post to read all the comments.
If you want to add a comment to the post, just click on where it says "x comments" and it'll bring up a page to type in your comments and send them to me to add to the post. This is a real easy way for you and me to add your 2 cents worth to the site. (Go ahead and try it, you know you want to!)
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Ok, good comments to read : check the following posts :
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Jackasses, cellphones and sqheeged shorts
Seniors at the Prom
Ducks in the road......
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Oh and I got accepted to the Masters program at the "U", I'll be taking "Foundations of Instructional Design" and "Foundations of Learning" starting in the fall (unless I really bomb the GRE I'm taking on the 4th of June.)