Monday, September 03, 2007

Human / Vermin. There's a reason they sound so alike.

Don't get me wrong, I like people, individuals. It's just as a race we suck. There's a lot more lovable ones out there, like sharks and fire ants. At least they don't proclaim to be civilized, you know exactly what to expect from each and every one of them. We, on the other hand, claim to be the evolutionary apex of the planet, the only beings with a sense of self awareness and social conscious. Yet we scurry around this planet exhibiting behaviors that defy any sense of common good and instead display a healthy attitude of self entitlement. Yes, I ran some errands today.
I was gone for a whole 30 minutes today, and ran into 5 instances that were memorable. I get in line at Shopko behind a lady that is just finishing up her transaction. I've got one thing to buy, the cashier reaches for it as this lady's friend butts past me and hands him a video to ring up. Just as I'm thinking "Like, totally rude man, but it is only one thing", the lady pulls out her checkbook. Not cash. Not credit/debit card. But, these days, the slowest method of payment on God's green earth. The cashier, realizing that I am about to slam that lady's head down on her checkbook, which would probably jam her pen in her eye, causing a huge mess he would have to clean up, politely suggests that they can ring me up at the Customer Service counter. Disaster averted. On the way home, I almost get run over in front of the Shopko trying to get to my car, some lady decides she needs the whole lane for her minivan and is driving down the center of the isle in the parking lot, some guy in a BBA edition Ford Mega-Crew cab decides that the extra 30 feet his girlfriend/wife would have to walk from a real parking spot to the Nordstroms Rack might just give her a heart attack so he parks right in the lane of traffic (after all, WE can go around HIM), and finally as I'm pulling out of the parking space at Carl's Jr (halfway into the lane of traffic) some guy in another BBA pickup turns into the parking lot and figures that he shouldn't have to stop and tries to squeeze past me. All that within 30 minutes and 5 blocks of my house. Oh, and Writer, sorry about that huge, run on sentence, I was on a roll.
Well, thank you for letting me vent, I feel much better now. I think I'll go take a nap and get ready to face the hoardes again. Gotta be at Chevron by 3..........

1 comment:

A Paperback Writer said...

It's okay, Max. Blogs are informal.
Actually, you write very well most of the time. If you don't believe me, try reading the singles' profiles of some guys out there. (Yeah, I know; you wouldn't do that, so just trust me.)