Jackasses, cellphones and squeeged shorts......

Monday, monday....., First I want to thank my anonymouse friend from France for another story about Max, who if we haven't all figured out by now is my paternal grandfather. If you want to read it, it's added to the "Ducks in the road" post, just click on there.

Now to the main event. It's about 10 minutes to 7 this morning, and I'm just getting off the freeway at 7th East. (Click on the picture for a better look). The light turns green and just as I get my entire car out into the intersection, I notice this big 'ol white Chevy truck heading right at me, and he ain't slowing down. I slam on my brakes (TGFABS), the guy next to me does just the same, just as the morontosaurus notices that he's burning a red light. I'm stopped, SUV next to me is stopped, Chevy still heading straight at my door. As Holly said about exceeding light speed; "It's brown trouser time". Now this is the picture that I see in my head, it is entirely possible that my brain filled in some of the details and it's not entirely accurate, but it's my image and I'm keeping it. I see the driver dropping his cell phone from his head as he yanks the steering wheel to the left, squealing wheels around the front of my car, within inches of my bumper. I can see his face, I can see his hand halfway to the steering wheel and the phone in mid air. It's a Nokia, one of those slim ones. Black, not the pink. Yeah, a little detailed for something that happened in a split second, at a time where I was only half awake. Anyway, he makes it around my car, just to see another vehicle in his way, yanks the wheel to the left again, realizes there's no lane there for him and continues leftward onto the freeway entrance. I stuff my heart back down into my chest and proceed to school. What a way to start a Monday morning........

.

Hope yours was better.

Four digit zip codes & conspiracies.

I love how people get so agitated that they do not even listen to what's being told to them. Guy comes into the Chevron today, first thing he says is "Every time I come here this 5 digit zip code thing never works"* (please ignore the bad grammar, A Paperback Writer). Jim, the guy helping him, tells him that it is for an ID check. The guy says he doesn't have any 5 digit zip code, his has only 4 digits. Jim says "No, it wants the zip code of the billing address on your credit card", and the guy reiterates "I don't have a 5 digit zip code, I only have a 4 digit one". My guess is that he wasn't hearing the zip code part and was thinking PIN instead. So Jim just looks at me, shrugs and asks the guy if he want's to pre-pay inside. Well, as Jim leads the guy through the process, the guy does things his own way rather than listening to the directions, finally gets thoroughly irritated, and says "Forget it, I'll go to a real gas station." I wanted to ask him if it would be in a country with a 4 digit zip code, but I was busy helping someone else. Ahh, c'est la vie.

*At our Chevron, when you use your credit card outside, you have to enter the zip code of the address on the card - as an ID check.

And, A Paperback Writer, no, I didn't wear a tie. I've become convinced that for me to do so would cause a rip in the space-time continuum. Not that I have any kind of phobia about it or anything...........

Seniors @ the Prom

Well, it's 29 years late, but I finally made it to my Senior Prom. Ok, so it wasn't my prom, but it was a senior prom, and I do work at the school it was for. I went stag, but hooked up with a few hot mama's there. Well, ok, only one of them really was a mother, and they were all co-workers, and I did get to dance a couple of dances, and it was kind of amusing that the kids didn't know how to dance to "Stayin' Alive". I was the only one dancing. They did have the "Boot-scootin' Boogie" down, almost all of them were on the floor for that one. Anyway, I had a really fun time, despite wearing a suit and some really uncomfortable shoes. Overall, a very enjoyable evening, and now I can say I went to senior prom.

To read comments - click on the title.

I got a comment on my "Ducks in the road & multiple coke's" post from a french friend of the original Max. If you want to read it (and it is worth reading) and the story that it reminded me of - just click on the title.

Ducks in the road & multiple Coke's.

It's 9:30 this evening, I'm in the left-turn lane at the corner of 1300 E and 2100 So. Across the street from me, in the crosswalk in front of the middle eastbound lanes are 2 ducks. Just sitting there, probably discussing who was going to pay for dinner at KFC. A car pulls up right in front of them and they decide it's time to leave. But not like normal, where they run off. They just casually walk across the street, staying in the crosswalk the whole way, heading off towards the park as my light turned green and I left. My guess is they headed back home to get their wallet.

.

.
Coke,

Diet Coke,

Cherry Coke,

Blackcherry-Vanilla Coke,

Coke with Lime,

Coke Zero,

Cherry Coke Zero,

Diet Blackcherry-Vanilla Coke,

Caffein Free Diet Coke,

Diet Coke with Lime.

Not to mention 4 different kinds of Dr. Pepper and 2 different Sprites.

.

And what do I find as I'm restocking the drink cooler at the Chevron?

.

Diet Coke Plus.

plus vitamins and minerals.

.

Seriously, when does one more choice become too much? Have you ever looked at a well stocked energy drink fridge? Gotta be 30 different kinds, and that doesn't even count the many different energy-alcohol drinks you can now get. Man, reminds me of that scene in "Back to the future"...... (this is in no way intended to be an exact quote, I'm citing it from memory, and, um, most of you know my memory)

.

"Gimme a Pepsi Free"

"Kid, if you want a Pepsi, you gotta pay for it"

"Ok, how about a Tab?"

"How can I give you a tab if you haven't ordered anything"

"Just give me something without sugar"

"One coffee...."

.

Ciao, Abbia un giorno grande o non, la scelta è la vostra.