Trump’s Super Chunk

I wondered if the cookie inside this package was produced by Donald Trump, but decided it couldn’t have been because I didn’t have to show my birth certificate or passport before receiving it.

When did tailgating become a right?

I don't remember the Constitutional Amendment process, but it must have happened. I ran into another person, and I use that word lightly, that seems to believe he has a right to drive within inches of my back bumper. I was on 7th East about 80th South or so and this fairly new black Mustang gets whips into the lane behind me and thinks that driving close to my bumper will make the person in front of me go faster. So I do the usual, slow down in hopes it really annoys him and he'll change lanes, flash the brakes and at the next stoplight hit the back-up lights. To be honest, I don't know if he saw the brake lights flash or the back up lights, he was really close. It could have been that I stopped a full car lenght from the car in front of me, or maybe he did see the back up lights, but at the stop light he flipped me off. I didn't even flip the bird back at him, I just yelled "Then don't ride my ass". The light turned green, and I went on my merry way, the guy in the other lane was even slower that I was, so Mr. Mustang got around me, but he doesn't just gun it and get away from me. He has to swerve towards me as he passes. I don't even flinch because I'm sure he's a hell of a lot more concerned about wrecking his Mustang than I am of him wrecking my Subaru. But the question in my mind still remains "where do these people get the feeling they have the right to invade my vehicular personal space?"

Impose a "Stupid Tax" & retire the national debt.

I'm not a slow driver. I've gotten a ticket doing 100 in Montana, 85 in California (recently) and even going 85 in a loaded U-Haul in Wyoming (downhill with a tailwind). So, if I'm not exceeding the speed limit, there's a reason; cop nearby, too much traffic, I'm in a school zone, the road is covered with ice. Something like that. So, if someone is tailgating me, it's not because I should be going faster, usually I couldn't go faster even if I wanted to. So, I don't like being tailgated, there's no reason for it except to get personally involved with me when our vehicles collide because the moron behind me couldn't stop in time. One of the tricks I do to hint that maybe your car is a little too close (at stoplights when I'm stopped) is to put the car into reverse and flash my backup lights at them. I have never (before) had a response that wasn't one of two things 1-oblivious and continue to drive like they are oblivious or 2-they back off. Not the guy driving the Grand Wagoneer on 21st south tonight. He's driving with a coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other spending more time looking at what's going on on the sidewalks rather than in front of him and following me close all the way down 21st, almost touching my bumper when we come to stop lights. I try the old flash the back up lights a few times, and the first couple he's oblivious. At the intersection of State Street he finally notices and, no he doesn't back off, he starts waving his hands around yelling at me. So I roll down the window and start yelling "then back off buddy" back at him. The light turns green and, still screaming, he does the old jump the car at my back end trick, revs it up comes shooting towards me and then slams on the brakes before hitting me. Yeah. Nice. Well, I continued my yelling back, but it was no longer "buddy", and slow down to somewhere between snail and sloth. Yeah, I'm a little nervous, and I am planning out escape routes, but I refuse to let assholes intimidate me. We get to the light at Main Street (one block for those of you unfamiliar with Salt Lake) and he guns it, pulls into the left turn lane and starts to pass me. So, I figure, fine, let him, and I slam on my brakes to let him pass. Now here's the funny part. He was turning left there. He couldn't just back off for one block. I tell ya, I'm beginning to appreciate my UofU Transit pass more and more every day.