My filter works fine.

In the lunchroom a student looked into his lunch bag and asked “If I give you something can I pick where I sit when we get back [from the holiday break]?”

I told him that I wouldn’t make that deal and he stuck his hand in his lunch bag and handed me a lemon.  Immediately I thought “share the Tequila too, and it’s a deal.”

Fortunately my “keep your butt out of trouble” filter was working at peak efficiency and I didn’t actually say it.